Wednesday, July 18, 2012

3rd attempt at an update

That's right, this is about my third time trying to post an update....and for some reason or not they just never satisfied the words I wished to be spoken. So here we go again, hopefully this time I can get down on the blog what is in my heart.

We have had quite a journey the past couple of weeks, there have been many ups and downs, twists and turns. I feel as though we have finally landed on somewhat solid ground. One thing that has been resonating continuously within in my heart is to continually give every worry, every trial, and every hurdle over to the Lord. Honestly, I don't know how I would have made it without becoming a complete basket case if I didn't have Him to lean on and give me grace.

He has continued to be faithful through it ALL.

We made a quick decision to move both myself and Cole back to Portland as soon as possible. We have been staying with my parents for extra care and support, and what a help it has been. Upon arriving my OB here quickly rearranged her schedule to fit me in. I was excited to see her and had this crazy little notion that she would take one look over all my charts and ultra sounds and tell me that everything was going to be fine. Well, that thought was quickly shoved aside as she actually looked me straight in the eye and said, "Caley, this is scary stuff, I am very concerned." My heart seemed to break a little more as she told me she wanted me to see a perinatalogist as soon as possible. Having to go to a specialist is never a good sign.

So again we prayed, and prayed.

Turns out they weren't only concerned with the growth and size of my little one, but there also appeared to be an enlarged ventricle on one side of his brain, this can mean a whole host of being it could be filling with fluid, and that is definitely not something you want to happen. So with heavy hearts my mom took me to my appointment, and I dreaded the news that would come next. To my surprise God seemed to lift that burden off my heart as the appointment continued.  By the time the doctor came in to discuss her findings, I had a strange sense of peace. And this is where it gets good.....everything looked normal!!! They had a clear view of one ventricle and it looked great, and the other side looked good from the view they saw. My baby's abdomen had grown from the 3rd percentile to the 10th. Can I get an "Amen"? While we may not be totally out in the clear, we are definitely making progress. And for that I will rest and find joy in. 

Another praise is the fact that I am making my way towards 32 weeks, I consider each week a huge milestone and anxiously await for every Friday to come around. Another prayer request is that I have started having some bouts of consistent and painful contractions.....while I have been having braxton hicks since about week 16, these have been different. I am concerned that this wee one may be trying to pull the same escape plan as Cole did. Again, another reason why each week that passes I can breathe a little easier because I know he is having that much more time to develop and grow stronger.

We have a lot to be thankful for but also a lot to remain in consistent prayer about. Thank you to you all you have stood along side us as we journey our way to bring this precious life into the world. Your prayers have given us strength and courage to deal with each daily trial as they come. We are blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loved our little one first, and loves him deeper and more than hard as that is to imagine. 

There, I think I did it. I made it through the update that seemed like it would never make it down on paper. Blessings to you all. :)