But this week.....man oh man. Both boys have been sick, Cole wound up with a nasty case of croup and had such difficulty breathing that I nearly rushed him to the ER in the middle of the night. Kyle convinced me to wait and take him to his doctor, and I am so glad I did. The poor kiddo was soooo miserable. Everyone that took one look at him commented on how sad he looked. The doctor didn't even have to take out her stethoscope to hear the stridor in his breathing, so he had to get two doses of steroids to help open his airways. I think it was the most traumatic experience he has ever had at the doctor's before, I actually had tears along with his as I watched him struggling. he is finally feeling back to his normal self, has the spark back in his eyes, and has been running around trying to get a rise out of his brother.
Yesterday I needed to go to the grocery store.....I had put it off long enough. Plus, I was kind of a little eager to get out of the house, and so were the boys. We were getting a serious case of cabin fever. So our morning went relatively well, we got out...the boys did well and it kept us all sane...and that, may have been the only sane part of the day.
So in true celebratory fashion, I decided to set up the old tripod and snap some pics since I was wearing more than a 4 day old shirt and sweats that I have had since college.
Just for fun, here are some comparison pictures of both my previous pregnancies around the same time.
The above was when I was almost 28 weeks with Cole....and a heck of a lot tanner than I am now!
And below is while I was 28 weeks pregnant with Bennett, I'm still blown away with how much smaller I was with him....
And then here I am now with our 3rd little muscle man.
Now onto the not so fun part.....
Just as days sometimes seem to go with little ones. They both woke up from naps on the completely wrong side of bed. The whole day went down hill at a rapid speed. And I tried, oh how I tried to remedy it the best I could. I thought LUNCH, it's always a good way to beat the blues. So I whipped together some leftovers, and looked over to see Cole spitting it out all down the front of his sweater, his jeans, the floor.....and then refused to take another bite. Fine, I suggested we all make "cookies" in their play kitchen. There were bowls flying, mouths a yelling, "food" being fought over, hit over, and held hostage. Bennett bit Cole, Cole screamed (can't say I blamed him, there were teeth marks). Timeouts. So I made a tent/fort.....this created a war zone covered by a blanket...and static, lots and lots of annoying static. We attempted crafts, which resulted in Cole poking me, yelling at me, and back talking me. More timeouts. Then I attempted to make dinner...and forgot how stupidly long it takes to caramelize onions. Bennett hung on my leg screaming mad because I wouldn't let him eat a whole bag of chips before dinner, he carried on the whole stinkin time I stood there stirring those blasted onions. Then my mind wandered to a blog post I had read where a fresh, new mother basically condemned any mother who ever uttered the words "being a mom is hard", and then I thought about laughing hysterically....because really!?! I almost crawled myself over to the nearest corner, waved a little white flag, and cried in a ball. But those onions needed stirring, so I cried in my onions instead. And then finally just gave up and tossed the un-caramelized onions into the dish...because in my heart, I knew they weren't going to eat it anyways. And you know what? I was right. They didn't eat dinner. They even made Kyle a little crazy by the time bath time was in the foreseeable future. You know it's been a day when daddy feels it too...because he's usually the calm, cool and collected one. And then I layed awake at night listening for Bennett.....as he developed croup and ended up being up for the majority of the night. So I'm going to say it, I'm going to be honest and real.....being a mama, one who cares, who loves deeper than ever imagined, who wants give her children everything, and raise them right....it's hard. It is. There are moments we may need to wave those little white flags, and that's ok. It doesn't make us weak or wrong or unfit mothers. It makes us human, it makes us made of flesh, it makes us authentic and real and worn.
And that's ok.
And it's even ok that maybe I thanked God that this little bean was still in my tummy and not amongst the chaos when yesterday went down.
And today, I'm focusing on taking deep breaths, and being thankful for each of my boys and every teachable moment. And now, with a clearer head I can pat my tummy and smile, and say I'm still excited, still anticipating the chaos this little boy will add.
So here is the update with my littlest man.
How far along:
28 weeks and 4 days.
Honestly, I have no clue! I go in on Friday.....and I'm pretty sure we are going to see a big jump in numbers. Not only do I feel like this belly has grown tremendously, I have also been indulging in numerous turkey dinners. And when I say numerous, I mean at least one a day since Saturday. And when I say turkey dinner, I mean the whole shebang.....I always tell myself I will just have a little turkey with some cranberry sauce, or make myself a turkey salad. But somehow my plate always winds up with a generous serving of turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy......slathered in cranberry sauce. You see, I have been craving the Thanksgiving dinner since, like..... I stopped puking every day. And then we decided to celebrate both Thanksgiving and my Father in Law's birthday since he will be having surgery the day before. Plus, I wanted leftovers....lots and lots of leftovers. Perhaps, I should have shared more. (by the way, I am going to share with you the recipes that will make your Thanksgiving stress-free and yummy.....stay tuned for that later this week, as long as I don't wind up having to give my youngest steam showers and steroids....)
So, with that said, my craving has been satisfied.....this baby has been well fed and spoiled. And that scale may get a work out this coming Friday. I'm soooo not sorry for it though.
I have never ever....EVER been a good sleeper. But this pregnancy I have slept more than I think I ever have. I still have my nights, but I am going to just soak up the good nights and be thankful for the sleep while I have it!
Best moment this week:
Um, turkey. Turkey. And more turkey. I think I'm obsessed.
Bennett, finding a bottle, sticking it in my belly button and announcing that he was feeding "the baby". Oh, and Bennett looking down my shirt, announcing that he wanted to nurse, and then making sure everyone knew that they are his nurses and not baby's.....I am anticipating loads of fun in this department when baby gets here..... ;) Also, my most favorite activity is plopping my bum down on the couch at night, pulling up my shirt and watching my tummy roll in waves as this little guy moves all about.
Really. Do we even need to go there again? Turkey......
I'm still on a twizzler kick, my older sister brought over a huge stash of them (thanks sister!) So I have been a happy camper ( I even ditched out on my licorice and go straight for the twizzler wax) Also, I can't seem to get enough oranges. I want to eat them all the time, every day. I have been eating a square of Lindt's, "A hint of salt" dark chocolate every day with my morning latte. I ate dark chocolate every day while pregnant with Cole and he came out as the calmest baby ever. I didn't like dark chocolate as much with Bennett, and he came out as...well, a loud bundle of personality! This is a test, we will see if the chocolate has anything to do with it. Hey, any way to give me more reasons to eat it!
Yes, the soup I made the other night. I thought it was all going to come back up. And I had to hold my nose while feeding it to the boys at lunch.
Just the norm, nothing new.
Yes, he moves a lot. And he is starting to get the hiccups often, not as much as Bennett, but still a lot. I can tell he is growing and getting bigger, because he doesn't seem to have enough room to give me the big jabs any more. They are now more the rolling, tumbling, stretching kind of movements...which happen to be my favorite. Every once in a while I catch a foot or a knee, and will stop to either pat or tickle it. He seems to respond a lot to both boys when they are near and talking to him or pushing on him....they have a way of waking him up from his peaceful slumber.
How are you feeling:
Holy Heartburn! It's finally arrived and makes its appearance daily. I think Mr baby is growing bigger and pushing everything up. However, I still think I am carrying this little dude the lowest of any of the 3. But despite that, I'm feeling really well other than battling a constant, lingering cough. I still get ragged and sometimes feel like an 80 year old lady at the end of the day. Some days are better than others. But I'm truly loving this stage of pregnancy.
I'm especially loving that we are in week 28 and still have nothing but good news for the little guy.
It seems like just yesterday that I went in for a routine visit while pregnant with Bennett, was rushed in for an emergency ultrasound, and left with a cloud of sadness as we were told that our baby wasn't growing and possibly had enlarged ventricles in his brain. I can still remember the confusion, the hot tears, the worry as we packed my bags and I headed home to Oregon for extra help while on bed rest.
Week 28, will always have a special place in my heart. One where I find myself saying extra prayers and thanksgivings, times of reminiscing and looking at how good and faithful God was and is to us, how He taught us through turmoil, to trust. And now we can look back and see His provision, His guidance, His caring hands at work. Even after days like yesterday, when nothing seems to go right.
Yet I can still rejoice in the babies He has graciously given to me, and the one that will be here before we know it. How we can't wait to meet him, our baby....our last. Come, come little one and join our chaos.