28 months and so much will....

I've been spending a lot of time posting updates on our newest little dumpling that it seems I haven't been as on top of it with our biggest dumpling of all.

Cole, you are 28 months old.

You think you are a big boy, and in many ways you are. But in many ways you are also still my baby, my first baby.

You LOVE your baby brother. And he loves you, but I'm sure at times would prefer just a tad bit of space between your faces. Smothering at its finest.

You like to hug him, to kiss him, to cup his face between your hands. You laugh right in his face and he giggles.

You have decided that you don't like clothes, like, at all. Being nakey makes you happy, even if you are freezing cold.

Speaking of being nakey, you have learned how to strip out of your pajamies, I often find them in a wad on the floor and just you in your diaper. How I pray you never learn how to remove that diaper!

You have learned how to open all doors, locked or not....needless to say we have child safety locks now. However, our room does not....so you often bust your way into our room in the morning, waking up mama, dadda, and baby brother. You're my alarm clock.

You love doing puzzles, reading books, playing trains, "cooking", throwing balls, playing tag, building houses for your trains, watching veggie tales...but your most favorite thing to do is to play at the park. Lately, if I even as much as drive past a park you start pointing and saying "OOOOOHHH, OH, OH, OH!" and then when I don't stop, dismay and meltdown.

You are becoming quite strong-willed. You have mastered the selective "deaf ear syndrome". And if you disapprove of something, your will gets the better of you and tantrums prevail.

You like to sing and dance with me, you would have me singing the Veggie Tales theme song all day long if my voice could handle it. In fact, you no longer like to watch the video, but want me to keep playing the beginning song over and over and over..... Needless to say, I no longer like to talk to tomatoes, if you know what I mean....

You like to do alphabet flashcards with me, and despite your lack of talking you actually know and can say a lot of letters.

You talking is a sore subject with me, I am dying to hear you voice what is going on in your head, I want to hear cute little phrases, "I love you's", and exactly what you like and don't like. I finally scheduled your speech therapy sessions and cried during the process.  My heart aches to hear you say "mama, I love you" without being prompted.

You LOVE "hot cocoa" aka slightly warmed milk with a little ovaltine in it. It has become an after walk tradition...or so you like to think. 

I love you, have I mentioned that yet?

You are finally starting to grow, I think you were 32 inches tall and 29 pounds at your last appointment.

You are still wearing 18-24 month pants, and 2T in tops. (shorty pants)

You are not potty trained yet, but the past couple of days you have asked me to take off your diaper so you could sit on your froggy potty (which usually is used as your step stool to get into things, and has yet to be used for it's proper function.)

You still stick out your lower lip and look at me with your big blue eyes...as they well up with tears....if someone startles you, scares you, if you suddenly get shy, or you feel overwhelmed by other kids.  This happened the other day at the park, and it ripped my heart from my chest.

Cole, you are my big boy.....you had my heart first.

While you have your moments of persistent rebellion and times of fiery tempers.....they can usually be dissipated as quickly as they begin. You have left me wondering what I did wrong and then two seconds later thinking I must have done something right. I hope the love you have for your little brother never changes, it is delightful and captivating to soak in.

My dear, dear boy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I cannot say or express that enough. I hope I get many more years to take in your deep blues and sweet giggle.

Not so wordless Wednesday

Ok, so a few words. I've never been good with "wordless" things. All I'm going to say is this, 

I LOVE my boys,

 they make me smile, they make me cry.

They drive me crazy.

And they give me crazy joy.

Here are some snap shots into my life with my loves.

Dinner in 10 minutes? No problem....

At least once a week, sometimes more, I run into an evening where both boys are needing my attention and suddenly I realize....I forgot to start dinner! In order to resurrect such an occurrence I plan on at least one night being "egg" night. Sometimes I make scrambled eggs, sometimes fried, and sometimes this--my personal favorite.

Photo Credits: Pinch of Yum

When I first laid eyes on that delightful photo I knew I needed to try Parmesan Baked Eggs. It had everything I like in an egg.... parmesan, herbs, and of course a perfectly silky center that makes way for dipping a crunchy piece of bread. While the recipe above yields amazing baked eggs, I have adapted them to help create a dinner with basically no prepping, no chopping, and no standing over a stove. And that is why I make these often, maybe a little too often.

But who can turn down single serving eggs, in a pretty little ramekin, where the hardest part is making sure you don't get cracked shells in the bowl? Not I.

Next time you find yourself in a bind, or it's dinner time and you have little ones hanging off of every limb making it impossible to pick up a spatula. Grab some eggs, some ramekins, your favorite seasoning, snap your fingers and dinner will emerge in Mary Poppin style.

Baked Eggs--Caleyfied.

Ingredients:

1 Tbls. cream or milk (lowfat is fine)
6 eggs
Favorite seasoning or spices ( I used Kirkland's Organic No Salt 21 spice seasoning)
Parmesan Cheese

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Spray 3 ramekins with cooking spray. Pour 1 tsp of cream in bottom of each ramekin. Crack 2 eggs in each ramekin, and top with sprinkling of your chosen seasoning.
Bake for 7-10 minutes (timing depends on your oven and how soft you like your yolks to be).
Turn heat to broil setting and bake for another 1-3 minutes (again, depending on preference).
Remove from oven, sprinkle with salt, pepper, and cheese.
Let stand 1-3 minutes and then devour.

When I make these for Cole I bake longer until the edges are slightly browned and the yolk is completely set....I still get a bit leery feeding him runny eggs.  Thankfully, he doesn't seem to mind.

Dear little baby

You turned 5 months on Saturday. You are one month away from the big half-year mark. Seriously, why do you have to grow up so quickly?

If I snuggle and hug you all day will you promise to slow down a bit?

If I kiss your toes, smooch your cheeks, and nestle you close, will you let time stand still?

If I sing to you "Jesus Loves Me" and the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" over and over again, can we just be?

You are such a treasure to us. Your big brother can't keep his hands off of you. He can't stand there being an inch of space between you two.  I might even go as far to say he is about as smitten with you as we are.

You are a strong little soul, with much heart about everything. If you are displeased, you let me know. If you are happy, you resound with giggles. If you want your mama, you make it clear.

You much prefer to be held in my arms more than anything. I often have to convince you that tummy time is truly for your best interest. When convinced, you actually do quite well. You still roll consistently from back to tummy, and have rolled from tummy to back several times...with just a tiny bit of help from me. You are good about grasping things within your reach, and try for those that are just beyond your fingers. You learned to transfer toys from one hand to the other, such a big achievement for a newly 5 month old.

You love to give kisses, big, sloppy wet kisses.

You always know where I am in the room. I love turning my head to be met by your baby blues. A smile always follows shortly after. You make my heart light.

You drool like it's going out of style. Your big brother is your drool monitor, if it drips off in streams, he runs to get a cloth to wipe your chin.  If you spit up he is quick to say "uh-oh" and stands by until I clean it all up.  He brings you toys to chew on, and then sometimes swipes them back in two-year-old fashion. But don't be confused, he adores you so.

 I'm not quite sure what has happened in the sleeping department. Once upon a time you were my champ sleeper. You gave me 7-8 hour stretches consistently. Lately, we are lucky if you give us 2.

I am tired, but thankfully your sweet face revives me and I always seem to have enough energy to make it through the day.

As trying as the nights can be, the mornings are bright.  When I peer over your bassinet I am greeted with squirmy grins and shiny eyes. You make my world wonderful. You breathe new life into the air, and give me the unconditional love that only a baby can offer. Thank you my sweet boy for being you, for bringing a piece to this family that would be lacking without you.

While I wish time still at times, I also look forward to the future. I can't wait to see who you will be and what you will bring to this world.

You are special. 

You are beyond loved and adored. 

And you have stamped your place in this world, even at only 5 months.

I love you my littlest boy, and while I can't stop time, I can soak up every minute of every day with you.

And that I will do.

The Trying Two's

I have decided not to call it the TERRIBLE two's, because even at its worst...it's far from terrible. Trying is a much more fitting word, and tried has my patience been.  I feel as if I fail a thousand times and then some on a daily basis. I'm trying to wrangle in this crazy stage with crazy attitudes and crazy tears. Everyone always warned me that this time would come, but I chose to believe that the "two's" would never have an affect on my sweet boy and his tender heart.

10 tantrums later, one lasting an hour long.....and my optimistic mind set had been cued into a reality check. Who would have thought that asking my son to put on a shirt, because he was shivering and cold, would be such a horrific request.....his tender heart is still there, and I'm sure always will be. But a little naughty side has creeped its way into a few crooks and crevices.

Two is hard.

It's hard on mom, it's hard on little brother, it's hard on the two year old.

But we are working through it.

 I make disciplining mistakes; I speak out of frustration.

I'm praying for patience. I'm trying to lead with integrity and gain understanding. 

I want to parent with love not desperation.

A friend shared this on Facebook the other day and it was exactly what my mama heart needed to read. 

Source: Birth Boot Camp

It helped me realize that this season isn't just frustrating for me, but also for my little boy. Especially considering that he still doesn't talk a whole lot. I often have conversations with mom about raising 4 kids, we talk about the good, the bad and the in-between times. She has has told me over and over that the hardest age with us kids was between 18-24 months when we didn't talk much. Well, hello.....Cole may be 27 months old but with so little words he can't tell me that he is upset, he has to show me.

He lets me know.

So no, these aren't terrible times, they are trying.

Terrible would be losing out on the chance to raise my boys. 

So I will pray through the trying and embrace the sweet, such is the journey of Motherhood.

 Cole is trying to learn how to be a big boy, and I am trying to learn how to be a good mom.

At least we can try together, as a team, as it should be.