Sweet baby in my belly, I hope that I have years and years to show you, to tell you, to kiss you,
just so you know how much I love you. I hope that you never go a moment or a second without knowing the depth that it runs. For it is deep and wide and overflowing. Just as your brothers burst their way into every crevice of my heart, you, my little one....have done the same. And I have yet to even see your face.
I have not been as good about writing to you as I was with your brothers. But I want to document the feelings, the ponderings that have been circulating my mind as I lay awake feeling your kicks and turns. And the one thing that I hope you will always always know is my love for you.
Did you know....
You were loved even before we knew you existed.
You were loved the instant I saw the positive test, the moment I called your Father to tell him the news, the moment Cole jumped with excitement and Bennett ran away saying "No, no, no".
You were loved when I saw you on the ultrasound screen for the first time, just barely bigger than a peanut, but there you were and there was my heart all wrapped up in you.
You were loved when we got the news that you might have a chromosomal abnormality, when we didn't know your health or what the future held, we knew one thing--we loved you deeply and without boundaries.
You were loved when the test results came back with positive answers! Our hearts rejoiced in the constant love that had captivated us.
You were loved even though you made your mama so so SO sick.
You were loved when the sickness went away and your mama felt the first flutters of movement.
You were loved when those flutters turned to punches and kicks that packed the force of a strong little man.
And here we are now, my love seems to grow right along with my belly as I watch you dance, as your brothers fight over who gets to feel your next kick. When I have more hands and heads draped across my belly because you are adored greatly by your two older brothers.
You are loved by the kiss of their lips, by their tender hugs, by the belly slaps to wake you up. They love you. And I, my darling boy love getting the closest front row seat watching their love unfold as they welcome you with open arms.
You are loved in the dark of the night when your dancing entrances me more than sleep. When I quietly whisper to you so that you will always know I'm near.
My little one,
Never ever forget how much love is wrapped around you. while you are in my belly and when you are welcomed into our world.
You are loved. Forever.