Sometimes I ask God why I have to be so emotional. Sometimes I'm sure my husband asks God the same thing. And then sometimes it dawns on me that this is how God has wired me to be.
I feel things. Deeply.
Whether in my own hurts or others, sometimes it doesn't even matter if I know you personally.
As I sat crying and praying over a family and their baby who is sick and fighting for life, it dawned on me.....the times that I am most emotional and burdened are the times that I find myself right where I need to be.
On my knees. In prayer.
I'll be honest, I have not been as faithful in my devotions as I should. Sometimes my only prayer time is a desperate plea of sanity, and sometimes I forget where I even put my Bible.
But then in times like these where I can't seem to stop the tears from falling, when I helplessly listen to a person very dear to me cry over losing another baby who didn't even make it to her arms, when I read of horrific accidents and lives lost prematurely, when I hear of another vowed love lost, given up on, and walked away from, when I look around and see our government place little to no value on innocent babes who don't stand a fighting chance against "a woman's body, a woman's right".
It seems so mixed up, so backwards, so helpless.
Yet there is hope. There is so much hope. And that is why when I actually listen to calling of my heart, the pouring out of my soul to the One who knows, who cares, who can shine a light in the darkness.
I find the most peace, the most hope, and the most truth.
My prayer today is for those who are going through the unthinkable, who are having a hard time making out right or left, who can't seem to find a firm ground to stand on. May God bring peace to you, may you feel His presence in the midst of the inability to feel anything but the unknown. May His light shine brightly on the path you are to take. May you know He cares for you deeply, because you are His, His child.
I came across this on Beth Moore's blog, and found it very encouraging and fitting.
"When I feel like my world is spinning out of control, the fact that
my name is engraved in the palm of God’s hands is indescribable.
Translation: He really does care for me greatly and deeply.
“In his hand is the life of every living thing
and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:10
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have
no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will
not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are continually before me.” Isaiah 49:15-16
And may my heart never grow to a calloused place where I am not burdened by the things of this world.
I have an emotional heart, one that I hope will continue reminding me where I need to be. On my knees, in His hands, and never forgetting the eternal promise that He has given us all.