To our knees....

Every mother's worst fear is to hear the news that something is wrong with their beloved child. No one wants to hear the words, "we are concerned and need to do some extra testing and precautionary monitoring."

Those are the words that met my ears yesterday as I sat balling my eyes out in the doctors office.

What was supposed to be a routine baby exam and glucose testing turned into a 3 hour emergency ultra sound and non stress test monitoring. The first concern was that my little boy was measuring small, and at first my doctor was going to have me come in next month for a growth ultra sound.  Something in me didn't feel right (the dr. later chocked it up to motherly intuition). And I asked if she really thought that the ultra sound should wait, she left to check my charts as I had seen a different OB at my last appointment. She came back and informed us that they wanted to do an ultrasound right away as the baby had been falling further and further behind with his growth for two months now.

At this point I was optimistic and actually excited to get the chance to stare at my baby boy one more time..and thought perhaps I could convince them to take a 3D shot for us.

That optimism fell short as the doctor came in to deliver the news that the ultrasound confirmed their concern. At that point the tears started.  Kyle had taken Cole out to the waiting room to get some wiggles out....and I tried my best to comprehend the words that were being spoken to me. The main point that hit home was that typically they aren't worried until a baby measures in the 10th percentile.....our little one was only measuring in the 3rd. Talk about heart-numbing words. 

However, there are many things to be thankful for, my fluid levels are great, and the umbilical cord is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. Both of which can be issues in this type of circumstance. AND it is also very possible that our little guy is just that....little. That is our hope. But to be on the safe side they are beginning strict monitoring of both myself and the baby twice a week until delivery, and if he doesn't improve they may have to induce early.

While I can't hardly wait to meet my baby face to face, I want nothing more than for him to stay in my belly until at least 37 weeks....that was my goal with Cole and he ended up staying put until 39. Hopefully this one will be as well behaved....and hopefully my body behave and will not create a hostile environment.


We have already been so touched by all the prayers and support we have received.  This is just one more indication of our earthly shortcomings, we do not know what the future will hold...we can try and do everything text book right only to have that book close, and we reach a point where we can do nothing but wait, and hope, and have faith that God has everything under control. 

I am confident that God knows more than any ultrasound will ever tell us.


But in the mean time we are going to lift our baby boy up in prayer, love him with everything in us, and praise our Father for creating such a special life just for us. 

In need of some pasta?

I don't know about you but whenever I am anticipating an upcoming move I like to try and use up as many pantry items as possible. This has meant some dinners have consisted of tomato soup married with melty-cheesy english muffins. And thankfully I have a hubby that never complains, but more so encourages such a pantry cleansing. And while it is easy on this prego mom when dinners only involve a mere heat and serve....I still get in the mood to cook up something nice, and good, and tasty. (And have I mentioned that pasta seems to be my #1 craving still?) So here is what I was able to pull out of my pantry and fridge staples to satisfy not only my craving but our cleansing.

It's simple....and almost as easy as pulling out a box of soup.

I of course was inspired by a pin I had found on Pinterest from Whole Living.

The thing is, when you are cleaning out your cupboards you use what you have on hand....I didn't have orechiette pasta, but what I did have was some fettuccine. I also used up the rest of my Trader Joe's Parmesan and Romano sprinkling cheese (insert sad face....but happy face for the fact that soon we will live close to one again!) And of course I added extra shredded parmesan at the end, because lets face it, 2 tablespoons simply is not enough. And please... Puh-Lease do not forget the drizzling of olive oil right before serving....it adds a wonderful flavor and keeps the pasta from coming across as sticky and unappetizing. It definitely passed the Kyle test as he went back for seconds and then finished up the remaining noodles on my plate. Yup, I would say it was a success and will be made again in our house. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!


Broccoli with Fettuccine 
adapted from: Whole Living

• 8 ounces fettuccine
• 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 bunch (about 1 1/2 pounds) broccoli stalks, peeled and trimmed, stalks and florets, roughly chopped
• 1 teaspoon coarse salt
• 4 tablespoons (at least) freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese; more if preferred.
• Freshly ground pepper and more salt if needed 
• extra olive oil for drizzling

Directions

1. Bring a large stockpot of water to a boil. Add pasta, and cook until al dente, stirring occasionally to keep the pasta from sticking, about 8 minutes. Transfer to a colander to drain, reserving 1/2- 1 cup cooking liquid. Set pasta aside.
   
2. Heat 1 teaspoon olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add garlic; saute until golden, stirring to avoid burning, about 2 minutes. Add broccoli and reserved cooking liquid; cook, stirring, until broccoli is tender and bright green, about 3 minutes. Add the salt, and season with pepper. Remove from heat.
   
3. Add reserved pasta to pan, and toss well to coat. Transfer to four serving bowls; drizzle each with 1/2 teaspoon olive oil, and garnish each serving with 1 1/2 teaspoons grated pecorino cheese.
   

The ducks that fell out of line

I mentioned in several posts back that we received some shocking news and that changes were coming our way. I needed awhile to process everything and allow it to fully sink in before we publicly announced the news. Basically, the story goes like this: we moved to Boise about 9 months ago for a project Kyle's job was working on. Then the opportunity to stay here another year arose and we jumped on it because to be quite honest, we love it here. We love the people, the community, our church, our dear friends, and just the conservative nature of the city. We were excited to be able to raise our boys at least for another year in a place that had made its way into our hearts. Everything seemed to be falling into place, Kyle was going to get to learn a totally new aspect of his job, he was going to finish his MBA, and I was probably still going to be jumping on a plane every month or so to visit all our family in Portland. In my head I lined up all of our ducks and they looked pretty stinkin' great sitting there in a neat little row.

Then one stepped out of line.....no, more like jumped ship!

Kyle's job would end in September, we would be moving back to Portland (yay for being near family), and we would have no home to live in until October (our house in Portland is currently being rented out). And not to mention a big key component....we would be welcoming our second little boy into the world mid September homeless and jobless.

But what about MY ducks?

Amazingly God has reminded us that ultimately it is His job to line up our ducks, not ours. They may seem like they are in the perfect position for something great, but HE is greater. Last night I slept like a rock until about 2:30 and then awoke to tormenting thoughts, I started to toss and turn and try to make sense of everything in my head. As I sat in the dark I heard a soft, yet strong resonating voice saying over and over "Seek Me". I realized in that very moment I have been trying to hold it together on my own, when all I need to do is seek the one who is a way better orchestrator than I could ever be. I don't know how else to describe it other than a peace seemed to fall over me, and I fell back into a deep sleep.

Amidst all of the chaos that seems to be in our lives right now, we have a TON to be thankful for. We get to move back close to both of our families. Being in a totally different state really makes one appreciate the opportunity to have family near by. And thankfully, they have both opened up their homes to us while we figure out our living situation...so we are going to go from being a plane ride away.....to being just a few steps away. It could get interesting, but thankfully we are blessed with amazing parents whom we respect greatly.

I am thankful for my husband who is such a good steward of our finances and his family. We are positive that God will provide when we cannot and that in the end we will look back at this and see it as a great and rich blessing. I am excited for the new opportunities that await my husband. And secretly, I am really excited that this may be another opportunity where Kyle gets to be home with us after the baby arrives. We had that with Cole and it was soooo much fun! He got to be apart of the newborn stage that most dads miss out on, he got to be up all hours of the night that normally only the mom experiences (ha ha, not sure if he is so pumped about that one).

We have so much to be thankful for.

God is teaching me to seek Him daily, which means I am learning how to pick up each duck one by one and allowing them to fly to the Hands of my Creator.

26....almost 27 weeks

I am absolutely shocked that tomorrow I will be 27 weeks pregnant with our second baby boy! I mean, I am practically jumping into the 3rd and final trimester here, yippee! As excited as I am to be puttin' right along baking this baby, I am also really really trying to cherish every moment. I had a friend say to me the other day, "you really enjoy being pregnant don't you." I didn't even hesitate with my enthusiastic "yes!" I truly do enjoy each stage of pregnancy.....well, perhaps not so much the early stage when you feel icky, bloated, and no one can even tell all the exhausting work you are putting in day and night to grow your baby. I also realize that each and every time I have the opportunity to bring life into the world it is an absolute blessing. It is a responsibility that I don't take lightly, a responsibility some would give their left arm to have. So I choose to embrace every moment like it will be my last. The truth is, I don't know what the future holds.....I would love to have more children, but that is ultimately God's decision and not my own. With that being said, I am embracing the sleepless nights and spending them teasing and playing with the little one dancing in my belly. I am embracing the thighs that are now rubbing together, and seeing them as only getting stronger to keep me and baby upright. I am embracing my 4 am hunger pains, and tip-toeing out to eat some cottage cheese in the early morning light. I am embracing the belly that is getting rounder and rounder by the day, and seeing the beauty and intricacy that our Creator is displaying. I am embracing the sweet one on one time that I have left with Cole, and soaking up his resonating love. Most of all I am embracing this miracle called life, that some choose not to value or even consider.

There is so much to be thankful for when, and if for some reason this is my last time going through this process..... the last thing I want is to look back and wish that I had spent more time embracing it and less time waiting for it to end.

So here we are.....almost to the last trimester and celebrating this life!

How far along? 26 weeks and 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: Um, I gain about a pound a week...so I will leave it at that. :)
Maternity clothes? Well, it's official, I have worn my first pair of maternity pants EVER! While they were very comfy, I hate how they give me a 'mom butt'.....I mean, seriously is it that hard to design maternity clothes that are as flattering as they are comfortable?!
Stretch marks? No, praying that this one will be as nice to me as Cole was.
Sleep: This past week has gone from good to worse...let's just say I have been up since 2:45 this morning. :)
Best moment this week: seeing my whole belly move more and more, it's pretty incredible!
Have you told family and friends: Of course.
Miss Anything? having more clothing options, I'm trying to be practical and not go crazy buying new things...so that means getting creative and wearing the same things over and over and over.....
Movement: He is definitely more active than Cole was...should I be worried?
Food cravings: salty, salty, salty.....I can't get enough! Pistachios, burritos.....and lots of fruit, I want fruit all the time! ( I suppose that should balance out my salt consumption!)
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, not realy.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender prediction: Girl....but as you all know I was so wrong!
Labor Signs:  I still get braxton hicks often, but that is about it.
Belly Button in or out?  in
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I am mostly happy....but definitely have my moments.
Weekly Wisdom: Eat chocolate every morning, it's like a dose of happiness!!!

Like Father, Like Son

I snapped this picture a couple of weeks ago because it was just too darn cute! Apparently I have two boys who really enjoy watching football. Can't you just see another little boy in the same kick back position lined up next to daddy and his big brother? This thought makes my heart so happy...even if it means I may lose them a couple hours a week to football. 

Now to just meet the wee one face to face.  From the feel of it he will also be a football fan, as I swear he spends his time running laps and perfecting his throw in my belly...life of all boys, it's delightful I tell you.

I wouldn't trade them for a single ruffle or the world.

Spoiled

Yes. My little belly baby boy was definitely spoiled this past weekend. My mom and two sisters threw me the "sweetest" baby shower. what a blessing to be surrounded by family and friends who love to celebrate new life! The whole shower was a sweet shoppe theme, complete with candy galore and a build-your-own-sundae bar...seriously, can't get better than that. Needless to say my sweet tooth was satisfied, baby boy was doing the happy dance, and we got some much appreciated gifts that will make this boy very happy when he enters into the world. While I didn't get very many pictures, I will show what I do have so you can get a "taste" of what the shower was all about. My little sister was the photographer for the event, so I should have more pictures to come. :)

Isn't that just the cutest??? And the "sweetest?" I loved every minute of it, and again am so thankful to everyone that came, we truly are grateful. And I owe my mom and sisters a huge HUGE thank you for pulling off such a beautiful shower at such a short notice.