I mentioned in several posts back that we received some shocking news and that changes were coming our way. I needed awhile to process everything and allow it to fully sink in before we publicly announced the news. Basically, the story goes like this: we moved to Boise about 9 months ago for a project Kyle's job was working on. Then the opportunity to stay here another year arose and we jumped on it because to be quite honest, we love it here. We love the people, the community, our church, our dear friends, and just the conservative nature of the city. We were excited to be able to raise our boys at least for another year in a place that had made its way into our hearts. Everything seemed to be falling into place, Kyle was going to get to learn a totally new aspect of his job, he was going to finish his MBA, and I was probably still going to be jumping on a plane every month or so to visit all our family in Portland. In my head I lined up all of our ducks and they looked pretty stinkin' great sitting there in a neat little row.
Then one stepped out of line.....no, more like jumped ship!
Kyle's job would end in September, we would be moving back to Portland (yay for being near family), and we would have no home to live in until October (our house in Portland is currently being rented out). And not to mention a big key component....we would be welcoming our second little boy into the world mid September homeless and jobless.
But what about MY ducks?
Amazingly God has reminded us that ultimately it is His job to line up our ducks, not ours. They may seem like they are in the perfect position for something great, but HE is greater. Last night I slept like a rock until about 2:30 and then awoke to tormenting thoughts, I started to toss and turn and try to make sense of everything in my head. As I sat in the dark I heard a soft, yet strong resonating voice saying over and over "Seek Me". I realized in that very moment I have been trying to hold it together on my own, when all I need to do is seek the one who is a way better orchestrator than I could ever be. I don't know how else to describe it other than a peace seemed to fall over me, and I fell back into a deep sleep.
Amidst all of the chaos that seems to be in our lives right now, we have a TON to be thankful for. We get to move back close to both of our families. Being in a totally different state really makes one appreciate the opportunity to have family near by. And thankfully, they have both opened up their homes to us while we figure out our living situation...so we are going to go from being a plane ride away.....to being just a few steps away. It could get interesting, but thankfully we are blessed with amazing parents whom we respect greatly.
I am thankful for my husband who is such a good steward of our finances and his family. We are positive that God will provide when we cannot and that in the end we will look back at this and see it as a great and rich blessing. I am excited for the new opportunities that await my husband. And secretly, I am really excited that this may be another opportunity where Kyle gets to be home with us after the baby arrives. We had that with Cole and it was soooo much fun! He got to be apart of the newborn stage that most dads miss out on, he got to be up all hours of the night that normally only the mom experiences (ha ha, not sure if he is so pumped about that one).
We have so much to be thankful for.
God is teaching me to seek Him daily, which means I am learning how to pick up each duck one by one and allowing them to fly to the Hands of my Creator.