12 month milestones

So much has happened in one month. So much growing, so much changing, so much going from baby to toddler. All in one month.

Bennett may be larger than life, but apparently he is one little turkey. He is 28 inches long, and only weighing in at just barely over 17 lbs. he is wearing a solid 9 months, and can wear some 6-12 month clothing. he is still in a size 3 diaper. And his 6-12 months shoes are just now starting to fit. We are starting to see a slight decline in his weight, and so we have one month to try and pack on some pounds otherwise they are going to have to do a bunch of testing. They want to make sure there isn't anything internally that is prohibiting his body the chance to gain weight appropriately. Praying he is just following in his mama's footsteps for now and then will grow into daddy's later on.

He LOVES to eat, everything. Which is why I am baffled by his lack of weight gain. Personally, I think he is just burning off his calories too quickly, he is always moving. If he steals some of brother's food, and I start coming to get him...he crams whatever he can in his mouth and takes off as fast as he can the opposite direction. Smart kid.

He loves to walk holding my hands, and has recently been trying to ditch one hand. AND he actually took 4 steps to me all on his own this past week!

He loves to use any object that might move as his own personal walker. If it will move, he will push it. I find chairs, baskets, toys, highchairs all over the place because he has used them as his mode of transportation. Pretty cute.

He got his first two teeth this past month, they are both on the bottom and both completely adorable! It looks like his top two are about to follow shortly. With all the teething and being sick, he is back to waking up several times a night. And has thrown in a couple nightly parties as well. I always know he is planning a party when he starts humming while he nurses.....then he pops off, smiles at me and starts saying "dadda" and laughing over and over again. How can you not join in on the fun with that kind of invitation??? :)

He has resorted to giving the biggest, the wettest, the best open-mouthed kisses around. Seriously, I ask for a kiss, and he comes at me, slobber dripping and plants one right on my lips....melts me...although I could do with a little less tongue action...we will work on that little boy.

Little or not, he is such a sweetie pie. Seriously, he is so adorable you just want to squeeze him when he smiles at you. He is really coming alive in his own personality. I don't know if it was his turning one or not, but ever since, he has seemed extra content. He used to have to be hanging off of me to be somewhat content, but lately he is into exploring his curiosity.

My new favorite thing that he does is when I say "hello" he puts his hand up to his ear and says "hey-yay" and then grins from ear to ear. We have some lively phone chats this way. Nothing I love better than chatting it up with my baby!

I have truly been soaking up every moment with that sweet face.

I mean, how could you not? I am completely and utterly in awe that I get to call him mine. And completely in awe when I see him growing and changing right before my eyes.

His new favorite game is putting blocks and such into containers. He gets very pleased with himself. he also still loves to knock over anything and everything that big brother builds. It's as if it's his duty...when duty calls...

He is still so attached to his daddy, it's truly precious. He is also still very much attached to his older brother. Upon waking, all I have to say is, "go see brother" and he starts pointing downstairs and "talking". He has graduated from the head to head kiss that he used to give Cole. He now gets his lips pursed and starts homing in while making a "Mmmmmmaaaawww" sound.

He has been imitating me a lot recently.  The other day I sneezed. He started crawling around going "choooooo". Any time I would fake sneeze he would follow it up with his own sneeze. but of course when I tried to get him to perform for anyone, he would have nothing to do with it! Such a stinker.

Have I ever mentioned how this kid can climb?!?! Good night, he gives me a heart attack! I never had to deal with much of that with Cole, he was my cautious child. This one.....this one will try and climb anything and everything. If I turn my head for more than a second, I find him teetering on top of something, always super proud and always super happy about his achievement.

He also finally mastered the art of going down stairs. Those stairs are like cat nip to him.....

He seems to have sprouted over night. His birthday outfit used to fit him just right.....yesterday when we finally celebrated his birthday he was all high-waters and I had to let out his suspenders. Good. Let's hope that will make the doctor happy.

Speaking of party, we had so much fun celebrating this sweet little munchkin that has overtaken our lives and our hearts.  Hopefully I will have a post up within the next day or so all about the details in his party. I want to share with everyone the best printable alphabet set out there. And also share pictures of the cutest one year old out there, we are smitten...absolutely smitten with him.

How could you not be? Those lips, those eyes, that face...and his super charming little personality.

I can't get enough....

I love you baby boy, so much!

The Best.

Nothing beats that moment when your baby has slept way longer than they usually sleep.

You are worried that something is wrong.

So you sneak up the stairs and into their room to check on them, just a peek.

As you poke your head in, you see a sweet silhouette of wild frizzy curls sitting in the middle of their bed, not making a peep.

As you get closer you are greeted with a cheeky grin and big blue eyes.

There they are, just fine....big grin. And waiting.

Waiting for you, because they know you will come.

Ah, the best, simply the best....

Salt Painting

So it begins. The rain.

Ah, the one thing I didn't miss whatsoever while we lived in Idaho.

No more sending my kiddos out with no clothes to play outside (for the record, they both prefer to be without clothes....I decided not to fight it while the weather was warm.....pick your battles.)

Now it is time to get creative once again. Besides the typical coloring, trains, and tag that seems to happen daily....I truly like to throw in something a little different, especially for Cole. So when Bennett heads off to his nap, Cole and I prepare to do something fun, just the two of us.

Lately he has been my little Monet.

I had a picture of him painting with just a shirt on (someone didn't want to take a break from his masterpiece to use the potty....) But I decided to spare him from plastering his cute little buns on the internet.

Anyways, the other day Cole had used up all of his paints. Not having the time to run to the store to get more, I decided to turn to my ever-so-helpful Pinterest board. I came across Salt Painting.

Brilliant.

Seriously, to who ever came up with this idea you should get a gold star! It provided at least a good hour of pure fun for my little guy, and it was sooooo simple to get set up.

Here is what you need:

1. Paper (preferably a thicker paper, we just tore out pages from his favorite coloring book...and as you can see it soak up quite a bit of water, but still did the trick!)
2. Glue (good old Elmer's works great!)
3. Salt
4. Cups filled with 1 tbls water and about 6 drops of food coloring.
5. Paintbrush
6. A cute little kid

Good thing I have all of those things on hand at all times, especially #6. :)

All you do is create a drawing with the glue (or trace something like we did). Then sprinkle salt over the glue (Cole LOVED helping with this part!). Then carefully dip the paintbrush into colored water and lightly touch it to the salted glue.....the color will spread along the lines you created. And amazement will proceed!

We went through page after page of his coloring book. And I'm pretty positive this activity will resurface over and over again throughout this rainy season.

I like that it gives me a chance to enjoy a hot cup of tea or coffee as I cheer on his masterpieces in the making.

The one and only downside of this activity is that you really can't save the pictures, the salt falls off and gets everywhere. But for me, that's kind of nice because it's a no brainer to throw them away rather than hoarding them in some miscellaneous drawer. :)

Now excuse me while I go do the "hot dog dance" with my little boy.

Words.

I love being a mom, I mean really LOVE it.

You never know what each day will bring, but you can always bet on the fact that whether good or bad someone will do or say something that will bring a smile to your face.

And that is especially true now that one of my boys is actually talking. Have I ever mentioned how much I love listening to Cole talk? It has got to be the cutest thing ever.

He doesn't say his S's, they are all D's, R's are W's, and F's are P's....now just imagine the cuteness in all that.

I'm thinking I'm going to have to keep a running log of all the funny things he says. It is beyond wonderful to finally get a peak into that sweet little head of his. One thing I have learned is that those wheels are constantly turning, constantly spinning in there. I get a lot of "what dat's?" and "mama whook!"

A LOT of "more milk pease".....like, ALL.DAY.LONG. He could easily guzzle a gallon a day if I gave in to all of his requests for more milk.

If asked how many of something there are he will always count with his fingers to tell you the answer. For example, we saw horses and cows while in Black Butte over the weekend. I asked him about the horses, and he held up his fingers and said, "I daw one, do, bee, bour, bipe.....BIPE horses" He is usually pretty accurate when counting this way....Bipe may just be my new favorite nubber. :)

He is starting to name things. We recently ordered some caterpillars to learn about them and watch them turn into butterflies. Last night he named the biggest caterpillar.  I would like to introduce to you, Talkie-Talkie the batterbiller (other wise known as walkie talkie). :)

We sing lots of songs around here, but currently his favorites include, "The Iddy Biddy Bider", "Winkle, Winkle Widdle Dar", and "Happy Birday Do". The rest of the songs are just as precious as the titles.

If he smells anything funny or not-so-pleasant he immediately will wrinkle up his nose and say "Pee-uuu......dadda, peeee-uuuu!" Sorry honey, apparently you are stinky. 

The other day he wore socks for the first time since Spring. All of a sudden I heard him saying, "Ooooooh Nooooo, my dock id boke (my sock is broke).  He sounded so upset, I went over to see what the problem was. Turns out he had a little bitty hole in his sock. Yep, definitely broke.

His word for sick only rhymes with it....I will let you figure that one out.

Just this morning I was eating a Reese's (yes, for breakfast....don't judge.) I left a half eaten one on the counter. Later, I noticed Cole had pulled a chair up next to the counter and was quickly (and happily) stuffing his face super fast. I went over and asked what he was eating, he wouldn't open his mouth. After he swallowed, I said what did you eat? He goes, " It good mama, raisis nummy." I could only respond with, "yes, Reese's are very good...."

This last has got to be my all time favorite. A couple weeks ago my mom and I took the boys into Ulta to get some makeup. Upon walking in we gott blasted with smelly perfume.  Immediately Cole stopped, took in one very deep, very long breath. Then loudly proclaimed, "Mmmmmm, I WIKE dis pace!" He then proceeded to touch every single sample, and would run over to me with the brightest lipsticks saying, "mama I wike dis one!" I'm still thoroughly impressed that we made it out without a little boy covered from head to toe in brightly painted makeup.

He is precious, I love his voice, I love his thoughts.

He loves to repeat words, he loves to orchestrate what his brother should be doing, and he now calls "bay-bay" "Ben-NET".

These are the moments I dreamed of, listening to my little boy jabber-jabber about everything.

Never gets old. Never, not even a widdle bit. ;)

Crazy thermometer lady

That's me in a nutshell. Seriously, my poor kids....they see me coming at them with my thermometer and they start to dodge and hide. Even Bennett starts shaking his head 'no'.

But when you have had a week like we have, you tend to get a little paranoid. Especially when your oldest starts having a fever that keeps creeping up just like brothers did.

I even made Cole a bed next to ours one night just because I had this awful fear that his fever would sky rocket and he would start seizing while I was sleeping.  I didn't get much sleep the following days after Bennett's nightmare.  Cole had reverted back to his newborn sleeping ways....up every fifteen minutes, either yelling for me or Kyle. He wanted out of his crib, he wanted to go downstairs and watch Mickey Mouse, he wanted to sleep on the floor, he wanted milk....he slept maybe, maybe a wink one night. Kyle finally gave in and set up camp for him on a mattress on his floor, and I was greeted with a "hi mama" as I opened my door to go get a hungry Bennett at 3 AM.

Rough nights.

And a rough morning when I woke up to a Cole with a 102 fever and red dots all over his face. I promptly took him to the doctor and threatened to just bring a tent and camp out in their lobby until everyone was healthy and done scaring me.

Turns out my sweet punkin has a double ear infection and we are waiting on the results of a strep culture.

Hopefully his antibiotics will have him back to his tractor-driving days in no time.

Bennett on the other hand is feeling better but has been diagnosed with "failure to thrive" do to his decreasing weight. He has been put on a strict all fat, as much fat as possible diet. we go back in a month to see if he improves, and if not then they will be doing a full work up to see if there are underlying issues.

So here is my plan of action, chocolate.....lots and lots of chocolate. It helps me cope, it helps me breathe, it helps me feel like just for a moment everything is just fine. And then I soak up little moments when my binky-mouthed baby looks up at me and smiles and his binky pops out.. The brief moments when my two year old wants me to lie down next to him and snuggle with him for two seconds. Or when Bennett crawls over next to Cole, plops down...Cole wraps his arms around him and says, "Twwwwoooo Boooooyyyyss" and then looks at me and says "picture mama". Seriously. Love them. These are the things my heart lives for.

Hopefully within this next month we can get my wee Bennett to chunk up so that he can get a check of approval from his doctor. But until then I am going to keep at my chocolate therapy...and this, this amazing chocolate sauce couldn't have been introduced to me at a better time. My sister-in-law told me about it and said she was addicted.  Yeah, thanks....me too.

It's life changing. It really is. It makes the most amazing ice cream topping and even better creamy, dreamy homemade mochas. I had originally made it for Bennett's ice cream bar for his birthday.....but since his party got delayed, I dug in....and kept digging...and now I am going to have to make some more to replenish the almost empty jar. Oops!

So if you need yourself a chocolate fix, and don't want to have to deal with preservatives and chemicals additives, and want just a moment to forget about what may be falling down around you, then whip up a batch of this.

Heavenly Homemade Chocolate Sauce
(Source: 52 Kitchen Adventures)

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 cup organic sugar
• 1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Instructions

1. In a medium saucepan, whisk together sugar and cocoa powder until most of the lumps are gone.
2. Add water and salt and cook over medium heat, stirring frequently.
3. Bring to a boil and cook for a few minutes, until thickened, continuing to stir frequently.
4. Remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes, then add vanilla extract.
5. Store in an air tight container in the fridge and enjoy within 2-4 weeks.

To make a mocha or chocolate milk simply stir in a Tbls to your drink of choice, then enjoy!

A Happy Birthday Indeed

Finally, a chance to sit down and wish my sweet babe a wonderfully Happy Birthday!

My baby, I promise that we will celebrate your birthday sooner or later. Because punkin, we have a LOT to celebrate.

We had a big bump on your party day, a bump that I wish I could undo. But what happened on Saturday has given me a fresh perspective that I cannot ever, not for a moment take my time with my boys for granted. Ever.

I am so glad that you came into my world a year ago...you gave me one heck of a pregnancy, and seem to be doing the same as you grow into a little boy. Stop scaring me so much!

You are my sunshine, my bright place, my littlest love.

You are a fighter, a trooper, a tough cookie...you have bruises to prove it. You think yourself bigger and stronger than reality.

I didn't think possible to love another as much as your brother...but you took me and my heart by surprise.

I love you my sweet, sweet baby boy....I can't believe you are now one. I try my hardest to savor every stage, but you always seem to want to be one step ahead, please slow down.

I find myself with tears down my cheeks if I for one moment allow my heart to ponder the 'what ifs' I can't let it go there, it rips my heart to pieces.

So my baby, I am beyond thankful that God has allowed me more time to soak in your sweetness. to kiss those cheeks, to peer in your eyes, to revel in your everyday endeavors.

Praise God you are on the mend, that you are sleeping better, that you are you.

I hope you grow up knowing the depth of my love, I hope that when you are pushing for independence and figuring out your own path, that you will always, always know that I am right there beside you. I will be rooting for you, for the best, all the time, forever....and ever.

I love you my big one-year-old-boy. I thank God a million times a day for you, for protecting you, for keeping you in my arms.

May this next year bring many new adventures, many new growths, and many more loves and hugs.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Hopefully we can finish the party that was started. To celebrate. You.

You have my heart, always.

The day my heart stood still

It's crazy how just a year ago I was writing a post about how there are no words to describe the moment your baby is placed in your arms for the first time. Today I am going to write about how there are no words to describe the panic and unbearable pain in thinking that the same precious baby may be taken from your arms for good.

I know now that what he went through was normal and relatively "harmless". I know now that he is fine, he is thriving, and he is the most precious littlest boy I have. However, that doesn't erase the image I have in my mind that was replayed over and over and over again as I tried to drift off to sleep last night. It doesn't change the fact that I now want to sleep with the baby monitor on full volume, and that I worry about every little cry and every little tremor in his little body. Right now my husband is trying to get him down for his nap, he is screaming and resisting, I worry about that.

Something changes when you see a little life flash before your eyes. It happened so fast, so unexpected, and yet I wish that I had listened more to my gut instinct. See, I tend to over react as is...and I try desperately hard to keep that under control...especially raising two boys. I could easily become a nut job if I didn't work on this constantly. If I didn't continually lay my worries and fears at the foot of the cross.

So when Bennett struck a high fever Wednesday night, i didn't panic, I was concerned yes, but didn't panic. I treated it with Motrin and Tylenol. Thursday he had a little fever but appeared to be completely fine, completely spunky, completely himself. He stay that way all of Friday. After kissing his forehead Friday night I noticed it felt a little warm. I quickly whipped out my temporal thermometer and it read that he had a 99.9 temp. Not bad, I chalked it up to being the possibility of a new tooth, but gave him some Tylenol just to be safe. He kept fussing on and off which was highly unusual for him. After bringing him to bed with me to nurse, I immediately noticed the heat resonating from his little body. I took his temp and it was 103.7 so I gave him some Motrin. He slept on and off next to me as he seemed more restful there. By the morning it had crept up past 104. And this point I made the decision to call off his birthday party that I had been working endlessly on all week. But none of that seemed to matter when I looked into my sick little boys' eyes.  I also, got him in right away to the doctor. By the time we got to the pediatrician his temp was back down to around 100 degrees. He didn't have any other concerning symptoms so they sent us on our way and said the main thing I needed to watch for was if his fever was gone and he was still lethargic and sick acting.

He fell asleep on the car ride hom, so brought his car seat up to his room and let him sleep peacefully. Since his temp had dropped, I didn't think I needed to worry about giving him any more Motrin for the time being, I had been told that sometimes it is best for the fevers to run there course. Kyle decided that he would take Cole and meet up with his brother and family (as this was the last day for Cole to see  his cousins before they headed back to Germany). Plus, we thought it might be nice to have a quiet house so that Bennett could sleep off his fever. He awoke shortly after the boys had left, he was very sleepy and very lethargic. And he wanted to snuggle. I can never turn down a good snuggle. So I had him lie down next to me and tried to nurse him, he nursed briefly and then pulled off and rested his head on my arm while looking up and staring in my eyes. At this moment i specifically remember having this overwhelming sense that something was off, that I needed to get up check his temp and give him some more medicine. But then his eyes slowly closed and he looked so peaceful. I tried to ignore my gut and told myself that I would let him sleep next to me, and check him when he stirred.

Then the nightmare began.

Suddenly out of nowhere his eyes flew open, he let out a deep scream and threw his head back. I thought he was having a fever-induced terror. So i immediately gathered him up to try and soothe him. I looked into his wide eyes, and he was looking at mine....only not, they were glazed over and he seemed to be looking through me, not at me. Then he began to shake violently, making awful sounds....I couldn't tell if he was breathing.

I tried to stay calm, I tried to soothe him....but when I realized he neither responded to my soothing or hysterical voice...the hysteria set in. Everything gets a bit muddled at this point. What I do remember is desperately trying to find my phone. I ran about 3 laps around the kitchen and the living room while my baby shook in my arms, drool dripping down his face. I don't know how I remembered that my phone was still in my car from our morning doctor's visit. I hardly remember digging it out of my purse or the means in took to get there.

I remember screaming "No" over and over again, I remember wondering why Kyle wasn't there, I remember screaming at God not to take my son from me. I remember desperately trying to dial 911, but unable to unlock my phone with one hand, and wanting to throw my darn phone, but not because I knew I needed it. I remember getting it unlocked and trying about 10 times trying to dial those 3 simple numbers. You always think that if you ever have to dial 9-1-1 it will come as second nature. What you don't anticipate is carrying your shaking baby, whose eyes have now rolled to the side in one hand and trying to get your fingers to hit the correct 3 buttons in the right order with the other hand. I remember wanting to cuss at my phone, I remember giving up in a panic and running to the front door....not sure how I unlocked all of the safetly baby locks and ended myself up on our front lawn.

I have often wondered to myself if I ever was in trouble or needed to get people's attention if I would have enough voice to do so. This part became such an out of the body experience it hardly seems real. I remember hearing a voice that I was sure was not my own. It was screaming "My BABY, my BABY....someone help my BABY!" I don't know how many times this was screamed, I just remember my blessed neigbhor coming running from her backyard across the street.

Her and her husband are my heroes.

 As soon as I saw her I started screaming call 911, please call 911......My baby, save my baby! She came over to my side, took my phone, said I needed to take a deep breath and help her use my phone. Not sure how I was able calm my fingers enough to actually press the buttons, but I did.

Then I remember that same panic filled voice that had been screaming for help was now screaming "Don't leave me, my baby, don't leave me!" over and over again. At some point I had laid Bennett on the grass and had his neck and head cupped in my hands,  my neighbors husband had kneeled down beside me and was helping support Bennett's head. I think I draped my whole body over my little boys seizing body, his eyes now closed...and I began to scream in hysterically.... my sweet neigbor who was speaking with the dispatcher  had to ask me to try and calm down as the dispatcher was unable to hear over my screams.
I was sure I was losing my baby.

I tried to be quiet, I really did.....but that voice just kept screaming, "he's leaving me!" To which the husband kindly bent down next to me and said gently but firmly, "your baby isn't leaving you, he is right in front of you, and he is going to be ok". 

I strongly believe that was God talking through him. Because at that moment the seizing stopped. And Bennett lay there limp and letting out tiny, barely audible whimpers. We were able to get his attention and he began to cry and then his eyes started rolling off to the side again. At this point my neighbor asked if i could speak with the dispatcher, I honestly do not remember what she asked, or what I responded with other than sobs. I do remember her saying that she was a mother and she would have responded the exact same way.

the ambulance arrived, and other neigbors had gathered, one whom I had not met yet said she was a trained emergency responder, she helped me go get Bennett's car seat, filled up a water bottle and lock up my house. All simple tasks, but I am absolutely positive I would not have been able to do any without her calmly by my side. I believe God provided the exact people I needed in such a situation, he knew I was beyond capable of being in any sort of sane mind.

Once the paramedics had my baby boy, I felt a flood of relief. It was then that i was able to cohesively call Kyle and my parents. And looking back, I am actually quite relieved that Kyle had taken Cole....I think he would have been more traumatized had he witnessed his mama losing her sanity and seeing his baby brother shaking in my arms.

The nurses were incredible at the hospital. They were a Godsend.

They had planned on running a ton of tests, but ended up able to rule out some of the more invasive and painful ones due to his symptoms and the results of other tests. I laid next to Bennett in his hospital bed the entire time, except for when they put in the IV and catheter.....I don't think emotionally I would have been able to handle it. Afterwards we lay together, him often rolling up next to me, sticking his precious hand in my armpit (his favorite safety blanket). I can't tell you how many times I lay there thanking God that I still had him next to me, and that the outcome wasn't a different one.

My heart breaks for anyone that has gone through something like this and worse. It broke before, but now I have had a wee taste of what goes through a mother's heart when she stands up against the reality that God may be calling her little one home. It is a position I pray over and over that i will never ever have to face with again. It's to hard, to debilitating, to overwhelmingly heart-stopping.

I cannot express how thankful I am, I can't....I really can't. But I am.

My baby, my baby.....thank you for not leaving me.

Up to my elbows in frosting...

literally, we are about to fall into a deep sugar coma within the next day or so. Life has been so crazy the past couple of months....I feel like I keep pluggin away, and am excited that soon, very soon I will be able to sit and take a couple deep breaths. During my next breathing session I plan on doing some thoughtful reminiscing of this past year.

Can you believe that this little stinker will be one?

I miss his old man wrinkles like crazy, but I am pretty sweet on his big boy face and it gets lots of kisses to prove it.

I read once somewhere that babies who are kissed often tend to be smarter and do better in school when they are older. If that's the case, then I have two future Einsteins on my hands.

These cheeks get kissed All.The.Time. And that forehead, and that nose, those hands, and the little piggy toes.

I never thought it possible that I could love another as much as I loved my firstborn, but God does amazing things when he knits a baby together for your family. He expands your love in a way only He can do. It's a crazy crazy...willing to die kind of love.

Bennett boy, you can be difficult and trying but your sweetness and snuggles make all that fade into the background. You are a charmer, you are willful, your a ticking time-bomb. And I love the feisty-ness that you bring to the table. You will be the one that launches yourself over the upstairs balcony, you will be the one who I'm sure will will debate and expect to win no matter what, you will also be the one who see's one in need and will fight to help them. You already touch those around you and tug at heart's when it is needed most.

You bless me daily.

You make me smile daily.

You kill me with your sharp blue eyes...daily.

You wear your emotions on your sleeve....or on your face, always.

You don't take no for an answer easily.

And you adore brother and daddy endlessly.

You laugh easily and scream even easier.

You make me giggle, you make me crazy.

You help stretch and grow me daily.

I find myself striving to be a better mom, a better wife, a better follower of Christ because of you (and your brother).

I love you more than words can describe, from the deepest depth known to man. (and your brother too!)

I pray that God will continue to give me clear guidance and direction as I learn how to be your mama.

I love you so much my sweet little boy. I can't wait to celebrate you and your life in the nexy couple of days.

Happy early birthday my dear little one.