Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My promise....

My sweet boy. Gah, I love you.

Seriously, you couldn't have me more wrapped around your finger than you do right now. I love how you are learning new things each and every day. I can see that light bulb go off in your head, and then you just blossom. For example, you figured out that it is possible to not only walk forwards but backwards as well. You make your dad and I laugh ourselves silly watching you and your "moonwalk" endeavor. You are priceless.

This past week I have seen several sweet tastes of what you will be like as an older brother. The way you crawled up on your belly next to our friend's baby girl. You propped your head up in both hands and just stared at that little girls hands, face, and small little body. You let her grab and scratch your lips without even a flinch, and just sat entranced. The tenderness you displayed made my heart proud, and I knew then and there that you are going to make the BEST big brother in a few months. Those thoughts were further solidified when you, again, became so engrossed by sweet baby Piper at church.  You wanted to touch her nose (and then went for the eyes....intervention happened) and then you tried multiple times to put her binky in her mouth, as if you just new that is what she needed. I know you will be such a helper when your baby brother comes into our lives. It makes my excitement bubble up inside just thinking about it! 

I love how you love me. I love how you seem to embrace life and live it to the fullest, already. You are quick to listen and slow to anger (most of the time). Your smile is contagious, and your eyes can melt the hardest of hearts. I often fall to my knees in prayer that God will never take you from me. The very thought of that ever happening is unbearable. So my promise to you, my boy, is that I will be present in your every day life as long as God chooses. Whether that means making your stuffed lion dance to your music, crawling on my knees to "get you", splashing in the pool, or pulling you up next to me so that we can read story after story of your choosing. I promise to be present when you decide to play soccer, baseball, basketball....or band, yes I will be present and I will be in the front row cheering like a crazy mom....or clapping my hands when you take a bow. I will be present when you fall for your first crush...and when you feel the break of the heart. I will be present when you walk across the stage to accept your diploma, and when you drive off to the college of your choosing.
 I will be present in the big and the small, I promise.

I promise, I will be present...if that means, turning off the TV, ignoring my cell phone, cancelling plans with friends, putting down the broom, and just snuggling you up and embracing you where you are in the moment.

That's my promise, because I don't want to miss a moment.


  1. Caley,

    You are such an emotional and beautiful writer. This blog seriously just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for reminding me that the trivial tasks in life need to take a back seat to my children. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the cleaning and bill paying and meal planning and everything else that sometimes I forget to just enjoy the moments that make life worth living. So thank you, and I hope you and Cole have a wonderful day!

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words! You don't even know how many times I have to remind myself to not get wrapped up in the every day stuff, it's so easy to do. And I can only imagine it gets harder with two! You are doing such a wonderful job as a mama! :)

  2. Caley,
    Thank you so much for sharing these intimate thoughts. I can't speak on behalf of all mother's, but they are all the same feelings I've had with each of my foster babies, which is why my heart has been torn from my chest so many times when they leave me for adoption or return to parent. However, this being my ministry, and knowing so since childhood, I will tolerate going through these emotions knowing I have taken an infant from the hospital as a newborn, nursed them through their drug withdrawals and other illnesses, re-nourishing their starving bodies, teach them to bond, teach them about the Lord as their savior, and to see them go through all you've described with watching Cole grow and learn. Even though I can't have biological children, reading your journals to your children remdind me of so many pleasant times I've had with my kids and not get lossed in the grief of them moving on.
    Caley your family is so blessed! You guys have something special that others out the enoy reading your journals because they're relatedable, enjoyable, funny, wise, loving and shows how you're teaching your kids all about the Lord. Congratulations on such a wonderful family and please keep your postings coming as you can. Are you feeling better as far as morning sickness goes?
    God Bless,
    P.S. Thanks for blessing me with the sweet memories I've had with my foster children that were sort of put away cuz the grief is so hard. But It's important for me to keep going too. Thank for the motivator!!