Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Killing his Goliath
You know what? God heard my cries. While sleep over the weekend was practically non-existent, I had sweet rejuvenation on Monday. Monday....of all the days. I went into it super weary, super tired. My expectations were pretty low for how the day would unfold.
Low and behold the day couldn't have been better. This boy about blew my socks off with how compliant, kind, obedient, and thankful he was. In fact, looking back I don't think he had to take one time out!
If i asked him to pick something up, he was all, "ok mama!" If I told him to not do something he responded with, "Oh, sorry mama...." He helped Bennett when he stumbled, he brought toys to keep him busy, he shared his crayons when given the chance. I may have shed a happy tear or two. Mainly because it was clear that all of my disciplining and attempts at training a kind hearted boy seemed to actually be paying off! This cool little dude was actually listening and taking things to heart. He has such a tender one.
In fact, I am learning more and more just how tender and delicate his little heart really is.
He tells me lots of things, a lot of what he likes and what he doesn't like, what makes him happy, sad, and what makes his heart scared. He is always processing things, always thinking, and I'm often shocked to learn that sometimes he ponders things for weeks on end. I'm learning just how important it is for me to make sure I protect his mind and his heart. For such a little boy he hangs onto a lot, especially when something bothers him.
Probably about a month ago he heard the story of David and Goliath for the first time in Sunday school. Afterwards they always send the parents home with a little hand out of what verses they read and the story told. I love this so that I have the chance to talk to Cole about what he learned and have him tell me his interpretations. That particular week though he was so focused on Goliath, he talked about being scared and Jesus helping him, I applauded him for recognizing that Jesus was there for David just as He would be if he ever needed Him. That night he wanted to sleep with the slip of paper that had the Bible verse along with a picture of the Goliath. Then he decided that he would rather have it placed on the fridge downstairs. The next morning I remember him leaping out of bed, running downstairs and standing in front of the fridge just staring at that picture...for a good 5 minutes, nose to nose with Goliath.
I later removed it and threw it away, as I could tell something about it bothered him, but he wouldn't say what.
The next time at Sunday school he marched on in just fine, as usual. But then his number got flashed on the screen during our service, meaning, someone needed to come get him.
I remembered wishing I could run faster to get to him, even though I knew he was in a safe place. But seriously, the minute I looked at my little boy's face, that lower lip crept out, and I knew something was deeply bothering him. He tried to pull it together, but silently tears fell down his cheeks. I just held him and told him it was ok to cry, and then asked if he wanted to go back in to class or come sit with me. He chose me.
He now cries every time we start walking down the stairs to get to his class. Finally, he gathered enough courage to go in, and thankfully our dear friends were teaching and helped him warm back up to the idea.
Then yesterday happened, and the pieces started falling into place.
I recently started trying to do devotions each morning with both boys. I kept pulling down The Storybook Bible (which comes highly recommend for young children) and Cole kept asking to read out of "mama's Bible" instead, so we would. And then we would pray together and go on with our day.
Well, yesterday I got the bright idea to pull out the dvd that came with the Storybook Bible and watch it with Cole. As he saw me put it into my computer he became hysterical, covering his eyes, crying and clawing at me to take it out. I took it out, completely shocked by the sudden outburst.
Turns out, something about those videos seriously scare his little mind. And after asking my friend I found out that they watch one every week in Sunday school that coincides with the story they teach.
I think what it boils down to, he has a very vivid imagination and a bright little mind. He remembers things, pictures things, and if something scares him...he has a really hard time letting it go. And after looking at the picture of Goliath, I can see why it might frighten a young mind. But how else do you depict a great big, bully of a giant?
So we will be moving him back down to the toddler class (he was one of the younger kids in the preschool class anyways). Hopefully that will help. And hopefully I can continue learning how to best nurture his tender little soul.
Because he is just that, a tender soul with a tender heart. And I hate that anything could possibly hinder that....especially learning about Jesus, of all things! So we are on a mission to find a new devotional or Bible that might better suit him at this age (any suggestions are welcomed), and hopefully we can kick this scary Goliath fear to the curbside.
Goodness I love this little boy, how he brings so much joy and love to our family.